This is a little bit from Toyol. It's a parody of male chauvinism. Comments? Yes, i know it makes you cringe. That's the idea. How will I ever be famous if nobody wants to kill me ?

Toyol

Of course I’m real. If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be writing this now would I? Or rather, the scrawny, bespectacled excuse of a human male wouldn’t be writing it for me. He says his name is Danny, but I’m going to call him Piggy. I’ve got him by the balls, I do. And just as expected of any male, he’s quite unhappy about the idea of losing his genitalia, them being his primary organ for thought and logic. I’m quite smart for a toyol, you see. Not that my compatriots aren’t bright, it’s just that they’re quite dumb. Ever since I was a kutty toyol, that’s a little toyol, I’ve been interested in studying humans. I’ve observed them from the little, dark corners of their rooms, those places the fluorescent lights never seem to reach. From under their piles of dirty laundry, which I must add, is one of my favourite places. And from any of the small dark places humans seem not to notice. But the dirty laundry piles are my favourite. I’ve learned a lot about humans. For instance, I know that human females do not think with their genitalia, unlike the males, and are the smarter of the two. That’s because instead of one brain, they have two, on their chests. An odd thing is that their intelligence seems to be inverse to the size of their brains. I haven’t discovered why it’s this way, but I will soon enough. Piggy seems to be quite opposed to the fact that a woman’s intelligence has anything to do with her bosom. But he is curiously silent on the issue of a man’s intelligence.
As I am currently unable to use the giant box this human seems to be glued to all the time, I am forced to dictate. It is not easy. Being merely male, he occasionally forgets the dire situation he is in and voices his frustration. Of course, his opinion means nothing. But I have included it here to give you, the reader, an idea of the amount of effort I am putting into bringing you this text. Thinking about it, the opinions of this human will serve as an interesting insight into the inane workings of a human male’s mind and may prove to be humorous.
And who should be reading this text?
Well, that is the most pertinent question. I am dictating it with the average demon in mind, those of you who have become ignorant to the roles we toyols play in society, indeed, have become ignorant to the fact of our existence at all. Many of you forget that you have toyol blood in you. Many of you are aware of it, but are loathe to admit it, hiding it among yourselves, speaking of the teachings of the toyol kind in hushed voices in secluded places, when you are sure no one might overhear. But the toyol lives in you. And may it live long and well.